TERROR at the Barbershop; Bernanke Speaks
July 17, 2012
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My Schedule…and A Little Extra: I was terrified of the outcome but I sat there as still as possible…desperately trying not to flinch. Thus was the strategy while I got my haircut from a girl that seemed more uncomfortable than I was. After I sat down in the chair and the body-cover-cape-thing was drawn over me I started to realize what I was in for…she began to speak and she didn’t stop…ever. While in full verse she began to examine my hair…pulling and separating in an effort to determine her strategy…this seven minute endeavor felt like an hour. At this point there was no cutting so I started to plan my escape but she kept throwing questions at me which made it difficult to concentrate on the fastest and most sensitive way to exit. Then the compliments came, “you have awesome hair…I know a lot of people that would kill to have your texture.” My response was sketchy, “Eh, thanks, I, uh, have decent hair to, uh, make up for all the other deficiencies on my head,” I said. It was official…I was trapped…I was in for the duration. Then she picked up the scissors and that’s when I noticed the larger than normal bandage on her middle finger, “What happened to your finger?” I asked. “Oh, I cut my finger on a haircut yesterday…nothing a quick trip to Urgent Care couldn’t fix. But don’t worry, the man’s hair I cut looked great!” Oh Lord help me. When she was ready to start cutting I was physically shaking as balls of sweat started to bead down my face. She prepared to cut like a golfer ready to hit her drive…back and forth…back and forth. Then she took her first snip as I shut my eyes in fear…I was motionless like one of those human statue street performers. She moved the scissors like one of those bartenders in Cocktail with Tom Cruise. With each snip only a few hairs came off…she just kept cutting and cutting and cutting and cutting. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I kept my eyes closed and answered her relentless questions with “uh huh.” At the end she gave me the mirror to inspect my hair but I was too afraid to look and way too anxious to get out of the chair so I said, “I trust you…I’m sure it looks great!” I threw a twenty on the counter, forfeited the stamp on my visit card, and ran full sprint to the car.
My Market Watch: Rates are the same as yesterday. Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve Chairman, testified today to the House and Senate. He said nothing about Quantitative Easing, he mentioned the housing market is improving and that the Fed is prepared to act if necessary. This resulted in stocks falling and bonds held their ground. Normally on such news bonds would improve…but where can they go? Our 30-year is 3.500% with (2.250) back and our 30-year High Balance is 3.625% with (1.750) back. This is all good for rates…take advantage for it cannot last…. Disclaimer
My Schedule: Working from home this morning and in the field this afternoon….
Guideline Guidance to get a clean underwriting decision resulting in happiness and adulation…you could IGNORE THIS and find yourself with a long list of conditions, a huge hassle, and massive frustration
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